Trust No One

Since last month, I am easily nervous. Mind gets easily overloaded when trying to weigh the pro and con of a decision on my career path. Things get complicated easily when it has to weigh against my living expense, rental place, lifestyle and next step of my career path in a full loop. What if, else if, if then, what next and so on. When my career path gets entangled with legal matter, my mind gets frozen. Unknown risk of each decisions taken are too much to bear. I may be already in the pre-condition of a depression now. 

The advice and guide I got from lawyers only provide me temporary comfort but with no clear cut yes or no. No wonder lawyer gets one of the highest pay in the world. They are really super computer able to memorize the number of clause pertaining to particular problem in legal dispute as I have learnt from a TVB drama.

I know it is easy to get out of the current dilemma but the lingering question is whether I can stand through the path I shall take or not. I find myself not able to trust anyone even more through the current crisis I am facing now. Hypocrisy is so disgusting. I hope those hypocrite people will get their karma as soon as during their lifetime. Perhaps this is how they have to be to survive in this dog-eating-dog life.   

Going back to myself in question. Am I part of the problem which I am facing now? Should I be more hypocrite than those people around me so that they won't eat me up without me getting some from them too. Should I be more greed and wicked than them to reciprocate what they did to me? I feel despair of what I perceive the world of career around me as hypocrite. As long as my family feel happy with me, I will do whatever it helps me to stay as what I am with my family. I feel sad that apparently the step I am about to take to counter my problem is like to "fight evil with evil". What I am worried is what if the evil itself eat me up and turn myself into someone as evil as what I have perceived of others in future? 

This is why we always tend to say "Life is complicated". Don't expect others to treat you well. Others will always take something from you. Sigh...